Monthly Archives: March 2016

Sixteen Months of Type — ENFJ

This is the third post in our 16 Months of Type series and we focus here on ENFJ. To remind you, we are using material in our booklet Introduction to Type® and Reintegration as the jumping off point for each piece and then connecting this material to the self-discovery process that frequently accompanies life-changing events (LCEs). Read on!

ENFJ, Extraversion, Intuition, Feeling and Judging
When facing an LCE, ENFJs typically want an approach that highlights people’s strengths and is aligned with values. If your preferences are for ENFJ, you most likely see a life-changing event as an opportunity to involve others and find a solution that enhances your relationships. People who prefer ENFJ often use their own transitions as the inspiration to become leaders of community organizations or groups that support others facing similar challenges. ENFJs seek to balance the need for immediate action and a desire for group harmony, so they typically strive to craft plans that promote the greatest common good in the hope that such plans will be embraced readily by all concerned so that good will can restored as quickly as possible.

When ENFJ preferences are overdone, there can be a tendency overcommit to helping others, often at the expense of self-care. Moreover, in their drive for action and interaction, people who prefer ENFJ may not take the time to examine their motives and as a result may substitute keeping busy for a careful investigation of their own and others’ true needs and values. In addition, because they generally want to be agreeable, when ENFJs are in a position of needing care and validation, they can find it challenging to express anger or disappointment at a significant other’s inability to provide support during an LCE. Further, the ENFJ’s desire to see the best in people can also mean that even after this sort of distressing experience they may fail to prune such relationships even when they are no longer sustaining, thus leaving themselves open to be hurt again.

ENFJs typically need an encouraging companion to mentor, guide, and support them on their transition journey. The support of such a mentor is particularly important when it comes to exploring the emotional impacts of an LCE. Since people who prefer ENFJ typically feel comfortable sharing thoughts and feelings openly, they desire companions who will validate their displays of emotions, both positive and negative. These companions can also assist those who prefer ENFJ to use their insights into emotional states to discern which relationships feel reciprocal, which might be better dissolved and when they might require downtime to regroup and re-energize.

When such a companion is not present in the life of people who prefer ENFJ, they may fail to grapple with the conflict between how they actually feel and how they believe that someone in their position should be feeling. Without the benefit of a reassuring companion, they may avoid or repress what they deem to be socially unacceptable feelings, inadvertently adding more stress to what is already a tough situation. In addition to the loss of integrity this creates, suppression of such thoughts and feelings can create a snowball effect, turning what were initially small concerns into bigger issues. An uplifting companion can get them back on track by helping them to look inside for the sources of their worth and value; reminding them that strong character is built upon grappling with difficult emotions.

Self-Discovery Tool Number 74
If you prefer ENFJ (or you have someone in your life with this four-letter type code), the following questions may help as you process a life-changing event.

  1. How can you find time to check-in with yourself and discover what matters most – in terms of the bottom line as well as in people terms?
  2. How can you explore the larger meaning of your experiences in order to discover new ways of proceeding that might help you to manage your transition more successfully?
  3. How can your past experiences be a guide to what might help you manage things more successfully now?
  4. How can you build flexibility into your action plan to take advantage of learning opportunities as they appear?

 


 

Lines in italics adapted from pp. 40-41 Hirsh, E., Hirsh, K. W., & Peak, J. (2011). Introduction to type® and reintegration: A framework for managing the transition home. Mountain View, CA: CPP, Inc.

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Sixteen Months of Type – ISFP

This is the second post in our 16 Months of Type series and we focus here on ISFP. To remind you, we are using material in our booklet Introduction to Type® and Reintegration as the jumping off point for each piece and then connecting this material to the self-discovery process that frequently accompanies life-changing events (LCEs). Read on!

ISFP, Introversion, Sensing, Feeling and Perceiving

When facing an LCE, ISFPs typically want an approach that is friendly and flexible to their individual needs. If your preferences are for ISFP, you most likely want to get a read on your new situation before taking action and will need others to be tolerant of your internal, private search for emotional clarity. ISFPs tend to prefer a plan that feels supportive and gives them time to make sense of disconcerting or unusual experiences. If they are rushed or forced into a “one-size fits all” approach, they may tune out or reject the process altogether – they want to consider things carefully in order to find methods that foster the wellbeing of those they care about and increase their personal sense of peace.

When ISFP preferences are overdone, people who prefer ISFP may fail to consider the logical implications of an approach and instead base their choices on the drive to preserve harmony or protect feelings. Their temperate, careful approach can mean that they delay action, or fail to ask for what they need, if doing so could cultivate conflict. They may also assume that things will get better on their own if they simply leave them as they are. If they were instead to take a more active role, by envisioning where they would like things to end up – in both bottom-line and personal terms –and then trying out a few things to move them along this path, this could be much more beneficial.

ISFPs typically need a sympathetic companion to mentor, guide, and support them on their transition journey. Since those who prefer ISFP are often self-effacing, they seek companions, whether friends, colleagues or helping professionals, who are caring, low-key and able to remind them of their strengths and talents when they forget. Providing gentle, open-minded encouragement, tailored to them specifically, is crucial for people who prefer ISFP. They seek practical help delivered in a flexible way that enables them to improve connections with their significant others. In short, this help should be from someone whom ISFPs feel will champion them in a personl and sincere fashion and also be attentive to the demands of their day-to-day lives.

When such a companion is not present in the life of people who prefer ISFP, they may struggle with the ambiguity that accompanies LCEs and interpret this confusion as incompetence on their part. A savvy companion can help them to see that it’s OK to participate more fully, even if the steps taken are experimental or tentative. Due to the careful consideration ISFPs typically put into all they do, any actions taken will often improve the situation for all concerned regardless of how imperfect they might seem to the ISFP. Without friendly but firm encouragement, people who prefer ISFP may devalue the good they could do for themselves and others due to their modest self-assessment. Having a consistent companion cheering them on helps remind ISFPs of their unique strengths; including their tendency to pursue solutions that benefit all involved, in useful, hands-on ways. Having support that reinforces the value of their unique approach allows ISFPs to feel more confident voicing their opinions and taking action – often exactly what is needed to make things better for all concerned.

Self-Discovery Tool Number 73
If you prefer ISFP (or you have someone in your life with this four-letter type code), the following questions may help as you process a life-changing event.

  1. How can you find the ways to enrich your connections with others by reaching out to share stories, time, and activities?
  2. How can you explore the larger meaning of your experiences in order to discover new ways of proceeding that might help you to manage your transition more successfully?
  3. How can you take an objective inventory of which approaches to your new circumstances are working and which are not?
  4. How can you create plans, schedules, or routines to help you manage your new way of living more easily?

 


Lines in italics adapted from p. 28-29 Hirsh, E., Hirsh, K. W., & Peak, J. (2011). Introduction to type® and reintegration: A framework for managing the transition home. Mountain View, CA: CPP, Inc.